Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Timeline: It's a following to Listen to me and Trust me; Post 5.13; Justin's POV
Word Count: 1.643
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
A/N: Beta by qafkinnetic - thank you sooo much!
I have no idea where this is going through... just some ideas for Post 5.13. Maybe there will be more (at least there will be Part 2 of course), maybe not.
Every comment is welcome. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
New York was loud, full and dirty – and so cool. But I was careful with saying that. I know Brian, I've loved him for five years, so I know that he applies everything to himself. So when I tell him that New York is cool, he hears: "I love living here, I won’t come back, never.“
It’s complicated. Not only do you have to learn to listen to him, because he doesn't always say what he really means, you also have to learn to say things in a way he won’t misunderstand.
So I told him about my job in the gallery. It was a small gallery and Nadya, the woman who owns the gallery, was very special. She was arrogant, really arrogant, but people respected her; it was fascinating. Every artist she decided to support was kinda popular. They weren’t all painters, some were sculptors and some did really abstract art pieces. But whoever had a show, the press was always there and every artist got his own interview. And that is cool, especially when you want to be popular and when you want to make your money with art. So of course my goal was to get her to give me a chance.
So far I realized that asking her wouldn’t help. So I waited and hoped that one day she would ask me or that I would get a brilliant idea of what I could do.
Until then I worked at the gallery and got some really great inspirations there. But soon I realized that it wasn’t enough to pay for rent and food and clothes and my cell phone and my computer… so I took another job at the coffee shop "Around the corner“. They were very flexible with me being there, so it never was a problem when I had to leave sooner or arrived later. That was a perfect job for everyone, if they would’ve payed better.
Anyway, with two jobs I could pay for living in New York and Noelle and I became friends – sort of.
After almost three months I got a weird feeling, that something might happen, because everything seemed to work out perfectly. Noelle called me paranoid.
I called Brian almost every evening. Once I didn’t, because I fell asleep while watching TV, he called me and I had a really big smile on my face when I woke up with my cell phone ringing and an even brighter smile after we were done with the phone sex.
Phone sex sucks! New York has some really cool clubs – but you know, it’s a real benefit when your boyfriend owns a club, because paying for getting in is expensive and I already mentioned how expensive New York is, didn’t I?
So I only went out on weekends. But as full as New York was, I barely knew anyone except Noelle. And she wasn’t so into gay clubs. People seemed to keep a distance, or maybe it was me. I wasn’t really in the mood to dance or to visit backrooms, but I totally was in the mood to fuck. It was weird.
I got a lot of emails from Brian with so-called news, most of them about Kinnetik, but who cares, he talked to me and I was happy. He seemed relaxed, happy and comfortable and that made me happy and comfortable.
I missed him and I wanted to see him as soon as possible. Listening to his voice wasn’t enough. I could’ve borrowed Noelle’s car to drive home for a weekend, but for some reason I thought running back after just ten weeks would be pathetic. So I decided to get another reason to come back and fortune played my game well.
Brian’s birthday was coming up soon. It was the perfect reason to visit him. The worst thing that could happen was that he wasn’t there, since I planned to surprise him. I decided to take the risk.
Of course I waited for him to surprise me. I wanted to come home and have him there waiting for me, just because he missed me. But I knew this wouldn’t happen, I know Brian. He’s not ready for that, not yet. I had to make the first step. And I would.
So I planned it. I talked to Noelle, I talked to the coffee-shop-people and I talked to Nadya and I was really excited.
And then it happened. I talked to Michael. Most of time we communicated via email for the comic, it was easier that way, because with me working here and there I wasn’t so easy to reach, especially not for a talk about another job. The typical smalltalk like "How are you“ "Fine“ "Thanks“ and such stuff worked perfectly via email. But then he called, because Hunter had caught a computer virus and their computer at home wasn’t working and Ben needed his laptop for school.
We were almost done with the new issue for Rage, when he asked: "So, when do you arrive this weekend? It’s gonna be so cool, much better than it was before, it’s stunning. You’ll love it.“
He was totally euphoric, the way he normally only was when he talked about Rage – or any other comic. I laughed. "What are you talking about?“
"The Reopening, Babylon, remember?“
Remember? It was the first time I heard about it. Fuck!
I closed my eyes briefly and swallowed. I wasn’t paranoid, I was right. We were straight back on our way to distrust. I cleared my throat. "Didn’t Brian tell you that I can’t come? Unfortunately I do have to be here, there’s a show at the gallery I work at and it could be important for me. I wanted to skip, but he wouldn’t let me, you know him.“
Michael sighed. "Yeah, I do. We’ll miss you, he’ll miss you. You should be there.“
"But there are photos on the website. Look at them.“
We hung up and I looked at my phone, as if it would tell me anything. I’ve never changed my plans so fast. Fuck his birthday! I would be at the reopening! I was angry, I was pissed. I was pissed enough to not answer my phone when Brian called that evening. He tried it two more times, but didn’t leave me a message.
I checked all the emails he sent me, to make sure he really never told me about it. Then I checked the website and there it was. The reopening of Babylon. It was all back, all those feelings I thought I left behind. I was disappointed. Reopening Babylon was a big thing, a really big thing and he didn’t tell me. He cut me out – again.
I wasn’t able to make it to the big reopening in time, simply because I had to deal with Nadya and I couldn’t just take off every time I wanted to. I left New York Friday after I closed up the gallery. It was already after 8 pm, so I wouldn’t make it in time. But anyway, it wasn’t my plan to show up at Babylon.
It was 11:30 when my cellphone rang. It was Brian. I had already avoided him for 2 days, so I picked up and tried to play it cool. I learned from the master. "Hey.“
"„You’re still alive, good to know.“
"Sorry, had problems with my cell, it doesn’t work properly. I tried to send you an email, but every time I started I got disconnected. Noelle called the provider to fix the problem.“
Fuck, I’m good.
"Where are you?“ he asked.
"I’m on my way home.“ It wasn’t a lie, was it? And I so knew that he heard: 'New York is home now.' But what the fuck, he deserved it.
"You can say so.“ I cleared my throat. "So, where are you?“
"At home, I think I’ll make it an early evening.“
I closed my eyes briefly. He lied to me, why did he lie to me? "Really?“
"Yeah, it was a hard week. We got a new account, a big one. Unfortunately not an easy one.“
"Well, I can call you when I’m home, we could reduce the pressure together.“ I knew I got him, he wouldn’t be at home before 3 or 4 am.
"With an unstable phone connection? Imagine that… no thanks!“ He laughed, he fucking laughed.
"At least think about me while jerking off,“ I said. I was surprised how calmed I was while I was pissed to no end.
"I will“, he said. "Call me when your phone works well again, okay?“
"Are you okay?“
Okay, maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. He sounded really concerned. I was close to yelling at him what a motherfucking peace of shit he was – again! "Everything’s fine, I’m just tired. Love you.“
We hung up. "Asshole“, I mumbled.
While I was driving I had a lot of time to think and after I was done with planning what I would say to him, I tried to figure out why he didn’t tell me about Babylon. There must be a reason, there’s always a reason. And most of time it’s a Brian-Kinney-reason, so I had to think complicated.
Was it because of the bombing? Was he worried that it could be too much for me? I sighed and rolled my eyes. That was ridiculous. I wasn’t even injured and Michael was totally euphoric about the reopening. There was no reason to be worried.
When did he decide to reopen the club? The last thing I remembered was that he wanted to sell it. And then I knew it. I slapped against the steering wheel. Of course he didn’t tell me. I shook my head and laughed. Just one hour and I would be there.