Fandom: Queer as Folk US
Timeline: Post 5.13; POV's
Word Count: 2.733
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. It’s all CowLip and Showtime.
Beta: My lovely mander3_swish - thank you :)
I know, it had been a long time, what can I say? I'm sorry. As I already told you, my vacation wasn't as good as supposed too. My muse seemed to think different, it seems that she stayed her *shrugs*.
As always: Every comment is welcome. I Love to read what you think. Thanks!
01. Listen to me
02. Trust me
03. Babylon Part 1 | Part 2
04. Find a way Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
05. ...remember what's missing?
06. The Party
07. Thanksgiving 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
08. 1 wedding, 4 rings... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
09. The first Webcam Sex Chat
10. The first call
11. Expectations - Happy Valentine | Revenge
12. March 18th 2006
13. Aftermath - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
14. Be careful what you wish for
15. Changes - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
“O my god, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Emmett said, and everyone on the table just nodded, except for Brian, of course, since pity was simply not something he did.
“But what about all of the good stuff?” Debbie asked, and put her hands on Blake’s and Ted’s arms to support them. “Do they totally ignore that? You two have been a stable couple since… years. You have a beautiful home, good jobs, and everything is just fine. How can they totally ignore that?”
“If you need any references…” Michael offered, and again everyone around the table nodded, except Brian, since we were still in the pitying mood.
“What about a surrogate mother?” Lindsay asked, and raised an eyebrow when we all looked at her. “Hey, just because I’m the only person at that table who’s able to give birth doesn’t mean I was offering.”
Ted smiled at her. “A surrogate is probably the only option we have left. We just thought… well, Blake was…”
“I was working at the children’s home when I had to do my social work practicum a few years ago, and since then I’ve went back from time to time to help those kids. They’re so young and beautiful and all they want is someone who loves them. And we are willing to do that,” Blake told us. “So we decided to adopt. Unfortunately it seems that we’re not allowed too.”
“Something’s totally wrong here!” Debbie got angry. Not that she was wrong. It was also somehow funny to watch her when she got angry, but as long as she didn’t have a solution to fix the problem her anger was futile. “There must be something we can do.”
“Do you guys have a lawyer?” Brian asked.
Blake shook his head. “So far not, no.”
“You should get one, a good one. I can refer you to one. You should at least talk to him about your options before you give up just because some obviously homophobic idiot told you that with a past in porn and drugs you’re not able to raise a kid. Even though it doesn’t seem that way now, gays do have some rights in this country, too. And if he tells you that there’s really no chance for you, you can wallow in this shitty pity mood later. Until then, Theodore, please get your ass back to the office and get ready for the Raymon group. We fucking need that client.”
After two seconds of silence Ted nodded with a “Yes, boss,” kissed Blake goodbye and left the diner.
“Thank you,” Blake said.
“Thank me when the little fucker starts to ruin your perfect little home.”
Lindsay bumped Brian while Blake just laughed.
I leaned over to Brian and kissed him. It wasn’t the right place to tell him that he was simply adorable, but I was sure he knew what that kiss meant.
“How’s the big move home coming along?” Emmett asked me.
“Yeah, and when exactly can we expect the homecoming party?” Debbie agreed.
Brian teased her. “You’re just looking for an excuse to come to the house.”
“You bet your ass I am,” she laughed, got up, and then glared at him. “And I don’t need an excuse to come over to see you and Sunshine, got me?”
“You’re always welcome, Deb,” I said, and as always I got the motherly smile and touch from her before she left the table to get back to work.
“So?” Emmett said, reminding me that he still didn’t get an answer.
“It’s almost done. Next week I’ll get the new computer with all the programs for my job and then… I don’t have to go back to New York anymore and the slogan will be, welcome back home! And I will have a homecoming party in summer so that you all can enjoy our big pool and beautiful garden.”
“It’s great that your pool and garden are so much bigger than ours, otherwise we would have to host all the parties,” Drew nodded.
Brian cleared his throat. “And that would be a shame, especially since your better half is a professional party planner.”
“Oh, I would love to plan your party, baby,” Emmett offered to me, “and I’ll give you a very big discount, of course.”
I gave him a smile. “I wouldn’t even consider asking someone else.”
Two minutes later Brian and I were alone at the table, and he gave one of those beautiful soft kisses before he leaned his forehead against mine. “You’re such a softie, you know that?”
“I have to be. It’s important that everyone loves at least one of us, and I figure that I’m more cut out for that job.”
He laughed at me and kissed me again. I loved those soft kisses. “When does your flight leave?”
“This afternoon. I’ll go back home and get some stuff and … then I’ll call you when I arrive in New York and you’re going to tell me how the Raymon meeting went, okay?”
It was two weeks ago now that I had decided to come back home and even though it hadn’t seemed to work out as fast as I thought and hoped it would, slowly but steadily we had gotten closer again. At first it seemed that Brian wasn’t sure how to handle us being together 24/7 again, which was little weird, since we had been together 24/7 during Christmas and Thanksgiving and summer holidays. However, after he had overheard me talking to Josh on the phone, telling him that he had to look for a new roommate, Brian started to believe that I really meant it.
Of course, I couldn’t stay immediately. On Sunday I had to go back, I had to pack my stuff, and I had to talk to Zack about it. He wasn’t taken by my idea, but he understood the reasons and my offer wasn’t bad. I would keep all my clients and would work from Pittsburgh and if it was necessary – for what reason ever – I could come back to New York for a few days.
Bill had no problem with me moving back home, since we barely saw each other anyway. Even with me living in New York we were just talking over the phone all the time.
Now I only had to go back to New York once to get the last of my stuff packed, say goodbye to Josh and the girls at work, and to … just to say goodbye to New York. After all, now that I wasn’t going to live there anymore I realized that I would miss it. I would stay the week and come home Sunday. Then I would be living at my beautiful house with the perfect studio and I would never go to bed alone or wake up alone. It really felt like coming home.
“I can’t wait for Sunday,” I whispered on his lips.
“I’ll see you then.”
“Say you love me.”
He looked at me and frowned. “I think I’ll wait until you do something so incredible that it’s justified to demand big words like that.”
We left the diner. He drove to Kinnetik and I drove home. I knew Raymon was a very important new client. It was a huge company for luxury apartments all around the world, but mainly in USA, Mexico, and Canada. If Brian would get this campaign it would be a multimillion dollar client, and it would save Kinnetik. For some reason, people stopped investing their money in shares since the last crash, and now they’re investing in real estate, which has helped Raymon a lot, and could now also help Kinnetik through the crises.
Brian kept his word – of course. If there’s one thing you can build on when it comes to Brian Kinney it’s that he never lies to you. When he arrived at Kinnetik, Cynthia and I were working on the art campaign for Raymon. We all knew how much this client meant and how important it was to get.
We already had to let go of some staff members and that hadn’t been fun. Some of them cried and they were all disappointed, just as Brian was. It was totally disappointing to get overrun by a slump, especially since we were all working to the limits and Kinnetik was still a young company.
“Tell him you’re a friend of mine,” Brian said when he gave me the number of the lawyer.
“Let’s get this campaign right. We need this success.”
His plan was to get all the staff members back on board as soon as the situation would allow it. We had been a good working team, and we all knew each other. Plus finding someone new was never easy.
We were totally nervous, all of us. Of course we had to play it cool. Mr. Raymon was a family guy - at least that was how he looked. Thank god he wasn’t totally caught up in his family-life and new that families were probably not the target group for his luxury homes.
He listened to us and looked at our ads; he kept a straight face all the time, just like his assistant. It was depressing. Brian did a very good job and after fifteen minutes, everything was over and Mr. Raymon was still sitting there, staring at the ads.
“Are you able to create advertising spots for TV and the web, too?” he asked.
“Sure,” Brian said. “Wherever you want an ad, we’ll place it there.”
The man nodded, still a totally straight face. Fuck!
“Okay. I need a little time to think this over. I’ll be back in town next Monday, and I’ll give you my answer then.”
Brian frowned. “Do you want us to change anything or to get some more or new ideas ‘til then?”
“No. Next time we should meet somewhere else. It always feels so tense having meetings at the office. How does dinner sound to the two of you?”
Brian and I looked at each other.
“Dinner sounds good,” Brian finally answered. What kind of guy was he? He was totally weird or should I say, different?
“Good,” Raymon shook my hand. “And bring your wives with you.”
“Sir?” I asked.
He pointed to our hands, we were both wearing rings.
“We will,” Brian nodded and answered the handshake.
That hadn’t exactly been the coming out we were waiting for… we wanted to have a go-ahead for the campaign. After Raymon and his assistant left, I was sitting in Brian’s office. “Now what? Are we hoping that he isn’t a homophobic asshole or do we order some wives?”
Brian looked at me and smiled. “I think we got him.”
“How do you know that? He totally had a straight face the whole time; he showed no emotions, nothing!”
“Would you invite someone to dinner just to tell him no? I wouldn’t. What for? If he didn’t like it, he would’ve told us so, but he didn’t.”
“And why didn’t he just say yes?” I asked him.
“Because he’s a business man.” He nodded to me. “Go call the lawyer and get your stuff in order.”
I tried – we tried. We got an appointment pretty fast and we practically had to bare our souls to him. His name was John Heldmann. We told him everything; our past with drugs and my porn website, our present and how we wanted to live our future.
“Okay, you want to hear my thoughts?” he asked after we were done.
“That’s why we’re here,” Blake answered.
“There’s a very, very long waiting list for parents who want to adopt. So even if we win and they agree to you as parents, you have to wait probably five years before you’re going to get a baby.”
“We don’t want a baby,” Blake interrupted and took my hand. “We want an infant, 4 years old or so.”
“Okay, then it’ll be two years.”
“But how is this possible?” I asked him. “We were at the children’s home, it’s full of kids. If there are so many people who want to adopt them, how can this be?”
“The thing is, they investigate every couple that wants to adopt. And they’re not very fast with it. So the kids who are infants now are too old when they’re done with their investigation. Except of course, you’ve already chosen a kid, haven’t you?”
“Pascal,” Blake answered immediately, and his eyes brightened up. “Pascal Whitman.”
We hadn’t told anyone about the little boy because we didn’t want to give it a name yet… not in front of the others.
Blake had met him a few months ago when he visited the children’s home. Pascal was 4 years old. His parents died in an accident when he was 2, and there was no family left. I had met Pascal a month ago for the first time and he was a really cute boy, a happy child who still believed in the system. He was absolutely sure that one day his new parents would show up to adopt him.
We talked about it, day and night. We talked about the responsibility, our jobs, the money, and what it meant to raise a kid that wasn’t our own. We were allowed to visit Pascal once a week, and we did and we played with him and the last time when he saw us he practically ran into our arms.
When we left he asked us if we were going to be his new daddies. I think that was the moment when we decided to do it, to take the risk, to adopt a child – to adopt Pascal. Of course we didn’t tell him. Blake knew that it was wrong to give the kids false hope. We had to talk to the director first. We thought we had a good chance, and he seemed nice and he also seemed to be happy about it… but when we showed up the other week to see Pascal again he told us that he didn’t want us to see the boy anymore. We weren’t even allowed to say goodbye.
We told John about Pascal and our plans and the results.
“So the kid already has developed a close bond to you?” he asked.
“Right now he probably hates us for not showing up even though we promised too,” I answered. “I’m afraid he might think that he did something wrong. I don’t know what they told him.”
Blake nodded. He was still holding my hand. “I tried to call him. I wanted to explain it to him. I thought it’s the least I could do, but… I’m not allowed to talk to him anymore.”
“That can’t be good for the kid.” John leaned back and crossed his arms and looked at us. “Okay, look, here’s the deal. I will try to help you. I’m pretty sure that I can put it through that you’re allowed to see the kid again, maybe at first only under supervision. Since there’s already a bond and since the two of you haven’t done anything wrong to the boy, I see no reason to not allow you and the kid to see each other.”
I looked at Blake and gave him a relieved smile, which he answered with a kiss. We had had a really hard week since they told us that we were not allowed to even talk to the kid anymore.
“Thank you,” Blake said.
“About the adoption, I’ll need more information. I need to talk to your families and friends. I need to get every detail so that they’re not able to catch us off guard with anything.”
We both nodded. There weren’t any secrets. We weren’t stupid; we knew that we couldn’t watch porn on the TV in the living room when there was a little kid in the house. We knew we couldn’t leave a dildo on the nightstand and the shaver by the bathroom sink.
“I don’t want to lie to you. It’s probably going to be ugly. Don’t freak out, especially not in front of anyone other than me,” he said.
“Do you think we have a chance to win?” I asked. “I mean, honestly, do you think there’s a chance that one day Pascal will be… well, our son?”